THE LATEST NOT QUITE LATEST THE ARCHIVE GERN JOURNALS FAQ U THE MAILBAG MIRTH IN YOUR MAILBOX! Enter your e-mail for weekly Gern! RANDOM HUMOR THE ASSORTED LOONIES OTHER WRITINGS GERN INC. CONTESTS PANTS! GERN'S JOURNEYS LINKIE DINKIES E-MAIL ME!                     Caught you peeking.

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS April 29, 1999 PLENTY OF TRIALS, NO CONVICTIONS This is the page where I put my more narrative pieces. Though I try to keep them as entertaining as possible, they do tend to have less "ha-ha" humor, although my life does sometimes get so pathetic that it's laughable. Most of these took place during the summer of '98, after I had left my columnist position at the DI (see the FAQ for more on that). I painstakingly added pictures and links to each entry to make them all pretty for the web. Go on... you know you want to look.   Fear and Loathing in Los Angeles June 1, 1998 - LA, PI, CBS and other abbreviations June 5, 1998 - That's the News... June 10, 1998 - The Plot Coagulates June 28, 1998 - Movielame July 13, 1998 - Breakfast with Henry July 17, 1998 - Bass Masters July 18, 1998 - I'm King of the P.A.s! July 20, 1998 - Looks Serious to Me Beyond LA April 29, 1999 - Shut Up and Gimme the Gas                                   All contents of this web site -- even the periods -- are TM & © Patrick Keller, Gern Blansten Productions, so don't try to steal 'em. Any unlawful distribution, copying or non-educational use is highly frowned upon, and will be prosecuted when I get enough money to hire a lawyer. Violators will be spanked. Shoplifters will be persecuted. Prosecutors will be violated.