What Would Paris Hilton Do: Etiquette for the 21st Century

Always looking out for their readers, Britain's The Independent offers an update from the helpful publishers of Debrett’s Etiquette on how to hook-up, cheat, and basically imitate the characters on Sex in the City properly. Among my favorites:

One-night stands:Avoid dark-alley gropery, and unladylike fumbling in the back of a cab. [...] Offer him breakfast and (assuming you want no more of him) say that your mother is on her way round.

Sociable smoking: Social smokers, who do not actually buy cigarettes, should rotate the suppliers of their freebies; if asked to donate, it is churlish (though tempting) to refuse.

LyingLies can have a positive role (for instance to protect another's feelings), so it's worth learning how to tell a good 'un. The key is to keep it simple, involve no one else, and tell as few people as possible. If talking to a pathological liar, either ignore completely, or (in the case of a good friend) confront them with a well-timed "come off it!" Excuses are fundamentally the same as lies, so similar rules apply. False doctor's appointments can be useful, toothache is handy, but migraines and food poisoning are over-used and have lost all credibility.

Sadly, though the article mentions it in passing, it doesn't spell out the advice on proper lap dance etiquette. Because there's nothing worse than having a half-naked stranger grind on you and not knowing which fork to use.