I am such a hick. When I saw this headline, my first thought was about corn.

Headline of the day: Cosby To Fight 11 Women. The only thing missing is the phrase "...in a No-Holds Barred Cage Match!"

Check out track one of the St. Louis Jesuit preists' new album.

What a bunch of perverts.

Oh, come on... you people have got to be kidding.

I had a bagel that kind of looked like Abe Lincoln once. Why didn't anyone worship that?

It's like they opened my head and looked into my brain! Police monkeys! Someone give that chimp a taser and cut him loose.

I, for one, welcome our new primate overlords.

Well, no wonder Grey's Anatomy sucks... check out the creator's credits... An overrated Halle Berry TV movie? Princess Diaries 2? Crossroads?!? Ugh.

As my friend James remarked yesterday, it's not so much Scrubs without the laughs, it's Felicity at med school.

Thanks, but no thanks. Bring back Boston Legal. That was at least halfway smart, and had a great cast. To ABC's credit, though, Eyes is really good. Slick -- maybe too slick -- but good.

Speaking of Tim Daly, not a bad year for former Wings cast members, is it?

No column this week (had the flu), but I think I forgot to pimp last week's column, about the horrific Gwyneth Paltrow "comedy," A View from the Top.

One thing I learned during this column? Microsoft Word will correct your spelling of "Gwyneth."

CHUD has a great interview with MST3K's Mike Nelson. One highlight:

We came up with a wacky premise for some game parodies. A parody of Mist [sic], of course, called Stiff. And we also had an idea for a flight simulator, which simulated commercial flights. So you got on an airliner and sat there. You could only win the game by logging intense hours of sitting on the plane having your sit kicked by a kid behind you. And you could find copies of novels that people had left behind in the seats, so there were sort of parodies of John Grisham and stuff like that. It was a crazy little idea, but unfortunately it didn’t move through Criterion so it was kind of scotched because they didn’t have any people on it at the time.

They also talk a bit about the upcoming DVD set, which I am sure to buy.

And since I'm on the subject, there's another good piece on Nelson here.

This story (relayed via Salon's "the Fix") caught my eye:

If the conservative guests on Fox News' "Hannity and Colmes" sound especially on-message, that's because they're being coached by the best:

Sean Hannity himself.

On the March 31 installment of the shouting-head show, the guests included two of the late Terri Schiavo's former nurses, Trudy Capone and Carla Sauer Iyer, arguing that their patient wasn't brain-dead.

Between commercials, according to an off-air audiotape obtained by investigative comedian Harry Shearer for last Sunday's episode of his weekly radio program, "Le Show," Hannity coached the women on exactly how to respond when liberal co-host Alan Colmes cross-examined them.

"Just say, 'I'm here to tell what I saw,'" Hannity can be heard instructing his guests. "No matter what the question, 'I'm here to tell you what I saw. I'm here to tell you what I saw.'"

What genius came up with that title? Did they feel the need to amend the "comedian" label because he's doing some journalism? What the hell?

I wanna be an investigative comedian when I grow up.

James: People born in 1984 can drink.
James: I FEEL SO FUCKING OLD.
Me: Hey, people born in 87 can be in Playboy.
Me: We were old a long time ago.
James: OH MY GOD.
James: That's scary.
Me: Yep.

You know what? Grey's Anatomy is Scrubs without jokes.

Man, the crap I find when I'm trying to find images for my column.

"Since the RIAA got passed"? Does he even have half a clue what he's talking about?

I'm not the "post-pictures-of-cute-doggies" type, but this is just so... odd.

Oh hell. Turns out I'd forgotten to update Addicted to Bad archive page for, like, weeks. Whoops.

Fixed now.

Yes, that is weird, isn't it?

Archie is a dirty, filthy pervert.

I don't know why, but Riker time travelling through the Bible just strikes me as hilarious. And it probably is.

When I was a kid, I used to sit in church and wonder if maybe Jesus was a time traveller or a magician. Turns out that he was just a second-rate Star Trek actor.

Hey, at least he wasn't Wesley.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Madison Square Garden proudly presents... DJ Kitten McFucktittles!"

Whatever you do, don't try to marry your dog in Colorado.

Anyone who used to watch Invader Zim will smile at this headline.

Kevin Murphy, of Mystery Science Theater echoes something that I've often thought: "...it’s amazing that any good movies get made at all." Check out the full interview. And this one, too, while you're at it.

I've had the pleasure of interviewing Kevin (for the magazine I edit). He's funny, easy-going, and, dammit, just really cool.