A George By Any Other Name

Choice Onion headline of the day: There's No Problem I Can Handle:

Some people look at adversity as a challenge. I'm not one of them. I see adversity like this: menacing, cold-hearted adversity. When life gives me lemons, I wish desperately for lemonade. But as I lack the sugar and ice necessary to make it, the lemons instead rot away in the drawer of the refrigerator until several months later, when I eventually throw them away.

When you're in a bind, I'm precisely the guy you shouldn't count on. When people seek guidance, they look to anyone else but me. Need a shoulder to cry on? I'm nowhere to be found. And when the chips are down, well sir, so am I.

Now, I know that the byline says "T. Eric Mayhew," but come on... A child of privilege. Had everything handed to him. Can't handle a crisis... Doesn't that sound an awful lot like, oh I don't know, George W. Bush?