Addicted to Bad: The English Patient

It's Friday, so that means its column time again, and this week, I take on the horror that is The English Patient. Now, to be fair, I didn't hate this movie, I just thought that the central romance was vague and unconvincing, which meant that the surrounding film was just pointless window-dressing. It was pretty, sure, but ultimately pointless.

The movie felt a lot like someone had all the superficial ingredients for a grand, romantic epic, but none of the weight. We spent so little time actually watching the leads together. It was like a "greatest hits" of their relationship, and we were just supposed to accept that they used to be a really important band in their day.

Just about stretched that metaphor to it's break point, haven't I?

Anyway, back to the column: One joke I just couldn't fit into the piece was about the goofy pronunciation of Ralph Fiennes's first name ("Raif"). Does that mean that we were supposed to be calling Richie Cunningham's friend "Raif Maif" all these years?

Okay. Go read the column, dammit.