More fictional adventures of Ted the Henchman™:

Not feeling too hot these days, so just some highlights from the last few days at the SPECTOR® retail outlet:

* A man came into the store the other day with facial hair the likes of which I'd never even imagined. It was a neck beard. Imagine if Lincoln had said, "I like the shape of my facial hair, but it's just too high on my face..." This man had shaved his entire face, but let a small strip grow on his neck, almost like he was wearing a fake beard to a party and let it slip down to his neck after too many drinks. It was just creepy-looking.

* On Monday, the store overlord wanted me to come in at 8 AM to watch a 15-minute program on new promotions at the store, which was being transmitted over the satellite. I asked him if he would tape it, but he refused. This meant I would have to drive my usual commute (plus rush-hour delays), get to the store early, watch 15 minutes of porn-quality acting without the sex, then drive home (in rush hour traffic again), and come back to the store at 10 for my usual shift. Somewhere during the weekend, I just decided this wasn't going to happen, and abused my snooze button vigorously. I watched the tape, which the overlord made anyway, during my usual shift, and it was nothing that couldn't have been related to me in bullet points in under a minute.

* In spite of my failure to show up for the video, that very day (my third day at the place) the overlord still took me aside to talk to me about how I might be store overlord material and that I should keep that in mind. This depressed me on a number of levels.

* I have to be at work at 6:45 AM the day after Thanksgiving. Whee...

* Today I went to get lunch at a local fast-food place and was forced to listen to the banal secular music they piped in to the dining area. Aren't there laws against that?

* I really need new shoes. My feet are killing me. Actually, what I need is somewhere to sit now and then while I'm at the store, but I'm not at that stage yet where I know what I can get away with with the manager. However, considering the fact that I'm already pegged as an overlord-in-waiting, maybe I'm overthinking this...

* I know there are other things I wanted to mention, but I have a headache and it's hard to think. Maybe later.

© 2003 Ted the Henchman.