I am completely without focus today. Or, rather, I was, since today is largely over, or it should be for any reasonably sane human being. I never claimed to be one, so there you go.
But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what to do with my free (heh) time today. In the end, I wound up not deciding anything at all. I watched a little TV and a bunch of movies. And while it was interesting (John Cleese's The Human Face documentary particularly so), it wasn't terribly fulfilling.
I suppose I could have written something, but nothing was jumping out at me. I'm still stinging a bit over the rejection of (or, more accurately, non-response to) my column idea by some of my chosen outlets. It's not really that big of a bummer or even a shock, but it has left me at a bit of an impasse as to what to do next. None of the other options is really grabbing me at the moment, so motivation is at a bit of a low ebb. I did have an old friend e-mail me a promising candidate, so we'll have to see, but today just didn't feel like the kind of day to follow through. I know... that's the difference between me and the real professionals, to which I respond, well, fuck you.
I also happily wrapped up another part of my big project recently, and I'm waiting on some trusted readers to get back to me before I continue. I have another idea I want to work on, but it's not quite fully formed yet, and that's giving me pause. And then there's that business idea that I easily could have worked on, but I didn't because, well, I just wasn't feeling that either. I know. Dammit, I suck. But I'm okay with that.
I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I've had company here for the last two weeks. My parents just left yesterday, and that was nerve-wracking enough, almost like taking a girlfriend home or something. I was seriously worried what they would think about my adopted home city or my lifestyle, such as it is. To my relief, they seemed to like it here, but I still had to contend with their plans and needs the whole time. And they're getting older, as is bound to happen, so their schedules and necessities could be demanding at times. Still, overall, I enjoyed their visit and I was sorry to see them go, even though I was anxious to get back to the usual.
That's all over now, though, but now I have come face-to-face with the fact that I had people here who wanted to do things, and now I'm back on my own. For a moment, I had comrades with which I could go out and experience this city (and state) with, and now it's something of a letdown to be left with the usual suspects doing the usual activities. I always somehow envisioned myself a part of some vibrant social circle who, I don't know, got together for dinner parties and went out to do things. Mostly, though, I know married people with kids who like to watch TV. Bless 'em, but I'm not in that stage in my life, thanks.
So I'm trying to address that, with some success, but as evidenced by the fact that I'm home again on a Friday, it still needs some work, and I can't just keep importing people to do things with. But now that I've had a taste, I'm more dedicated than ever. Or so I'm telling myself...
But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what to do with my free (heh) time today. In the end, I wound up not deciding anything at all. I watched a little TV and a bunch of movies. And while it was interesting (John Cleese's The Human Face documentary particularly so), it wasn't terribly fulfilling.
I suppose I could have written something, but nothing was jumping out at me. I'm still stinging a bit over the rejection of (or, more accurately, non-response to) my column idea by some of my chosen outlets. It's not really that big of a bummer or even a shock, but it has left me at a bit of an impasse as to what to do next. None of the other options is really grabbing me at the moment, so motivation is at a bit of a low ebb. I did have an old friend e-mail me a promising candidate, so we'll have to see, but today just didn't feel like the kind of day to follow through. I know... that's the difference between me and the real professionals, to which I respond, well, fuck you.
I also happily wrapped up another part of my big project recently, and I'm waiting on some trusted readers to get back to me before I continue. I have another idea I want to work on, but it's not quite fully formed yet, and that's giving me pause. And then there's that business idea that I easily could have worked on, but I didn't because, well, I just wasn't feeling that either. I know. Dammit, I suck. But I'm okay with that.
I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I've had company here for the last two weeks. My parents just left yesterday, and that was nerve-wracking enough, almost like taking a girlfriend home or something. I was seriously worried what they would think about my adopted home city or my lifestyle, such as it is. To my relief, they seemed to like it here, but I still had to contend with their plans and needs the whole time. And they're getting older, as is bound to happen, so their schedules and necessities could be demanding at times. Still, overall, I enjoyed their visit and I was sorry to see them go, even though I was anxious to get back to the usual.
That's all over now, though, but now I have come face-to-face with the fact that I had people here who wanted to do things, and now I'm back on my own. For a moment, I had comrades with which I could go out and experience this city (and state) with, and now it's something of a letdown to be left with the usual suspects doing the usual activities. I always somehow envisioned myself a part of some vibrant social circle who, I don't know, got together for dinner parties and went out to do things. Mostly, though, I know married people with kids who like to watch TV. Bless 'em, but I'm not in that stage in my life, thanks.
So I'm trying to address that, with some success, but as evidenced by the fact that I'm home again on a Friday, it still needs some work, and I can't just keep importing people to do things with. But now that I've had a taste, I'm more dedicated than ever. Or so I'm telling myself...
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