Excerpt from a chat session today:

Tiffany: maybe if I sit verrrrrrrrrrrry still I can just grow older without drawing attention to myself
Me: Nahh. Then you'll just grow fat and lonely.
Tiffany: ewwww
Tiffany: no thanks
Me: Yeah. Not the best fate.
Tiffany: I choose something else. Oh, I know! I want to be Lauren Bacall.
Me: I think that role is taken.
Me: I just want to be me, only richer.
Tiffany: I like that!
Me: I'm going to put it on T-shirts.
Me: Then the T-shirts sell a ton, and I get rich. Self-fulfilling prophecy.