This is the greatest scientific study ever:

A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

"And now, the Royal Shakespeare Company is proud to present Bobo's 'Ssssssssss.'"