All the fall TV schedules have finally been announced, and it looks like what remained of sanity and taste have disappeared from the ranks of network TV programmers. Unsurprisingly, reality TV and sitcoms built around personalities rather than concepts or good writing abound, and nearly all of my favorite shows have been axed. Gone are gems like Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Futurama, and in their place, we get ill-conceived shows starring Alicia Silverstone, Jason Bateman (hasn't he had enough sitcoms?), and a Feldman.

Once again, networks have failed to come up with many (if any at all) new scenarios. I guess it just wouldn't be fall TV without the Holy Trinity: Cops, Lawyers and Doctors, or lots of comedies about wacky characters "moving back home." And, lest we forget, we'll also get enough reality TV that you may as well just put a video camera on yourself and get it over with.

I suppose it could be a bit worse. They didn't cancel Ed, but I'm still reeling over Sorkin's exit from The West Wing (the finale of which may as well have just been titled "Fine, Have It Your Way, I'm Outta Here, Suckers"). Still, Wing isn't gone, but part of me just wants to make a clean break, as I know chances of it being anywhere near as good are slim. Hell, I thought the chemistry changed too much when Ainsley left, and she was just a minor character. I'm still ticked the suits let Rob Lowe leave. So it definitely won't be the same show without Sorkin. NBC wanted less liberal-leaning writing and more attention-grabbing, ripped-from-the-headlines stories, and that's just not the Wing I enjoyed.

For proof that no one else writes the show as well as him, just look at the one episode he didn't write in the whole four-year run, from earlier this season, where CJ goes back to visit her dad. It was weak, to put it politely. If Sorkin hadn't written a cliffhanger, I wouldn't be tempted at all to watch, except perhaps to see if it becomes a trainwreck.

Speaking of clean breaks, they almost gave Ed a near-perfect ending with its finale a while back. It's almost disappointing to see it get picked up. Don't get me wrong: I'm not worried about that sexual tension, "will they/won't they" crap. That old myth about characters "getting horizontal" (to quote Moonlighting, the oft-cited proof of this) ruining the show was just an excuse for bad writers, and Ed has plenty of good ones to overcome that hurdle. I just liked the wrap-up of it all.

So with Wednesday effectively splintered, Sunday on Fox is the only other night of television I can see myself looking forward to. West Wing/Ed/(and, occasionally, when it's new)South Park was a solid night of TV. Futurama/King of the Hill/Simpsons is a pretty good match, except, oh wait... they cancelled Futurama. Bastards. Now we get Oliver Beene, which is passable, but much like night-mate Malcolm in the Middle, I rarely sweat if I miss an episode.

Much could be said about the rest of Fox's schedule. I like That 70's Show, in a nostalgic sort of way (not nostalgic for the 70's, but for watching the show when I was younger, plus Laura Prepon is hot), and I'm curious about the show following it, A Minute With Stan Hooper, which stars my all-time favorite SNL news anchor, Norm Macdonald, and is produced by Coach's Barry Kemp. Kemp, I might add, is a graduate of the U of I. But beyond that, the Fox schedule barely elicits a shrug. I was, after all, one of the ones who gave up on reality TV after the first season of The Real World, and I still regard Survivor about as entertaining as a family reunion video of bitter alcoholics I don't know.

Back to NBC for a moment, they have hands-down the oldest schedule on the block, and it's pretty sad to see a bunch of shows that should have given up years ago. Friends had clearly run out of ideas when they all started sleeping together. Frasier was never quite as clever as it thought it was. ER was one of those shows I could never get into, not enough humor, too much forced melodrama and my dislike of watching surgical procedures didn't help much either. Regardless, the show has been on a decade, and apart from The Simpsons and the odd talk show, nothing should be on that long. If they have term limits for politicians, we should get them for shows, too.

I take that back: Law & Order is a franchise that could conceivably keep going forever, if only because the cast is interchangable, and the concept is solid enough to last into infinity. Luckily for NBC, Dick Wolf apparently intends to do just that, with as many spinoffs as he can manage. (As I'm sure others have asked before me, how long until we have a L&O channel?) Other than that, American Dreams, who cares? Third Watch, is that still on?

NBC used to have some brilliant comedies, but lately only Scrubs doesn't have that Elbowing-You-In-The-Gut-Aren't-We-Funny feel to it. New show Coupling could be good, but I think I'd rather watch the BBC's original than a watered-down remake, particularly given the extensive pre-season recasting and reworking. That's almost never a good sign. As for new dramas, NBC actually has some strong candidates. Rob Lowe's Lyon's Den could be good. I thought Las Vegas was supposed to star the impossibly gorgeous Katherine Heigl, which may still be the case, but I do know that it stars Nikki Cox, who isn't bad herself. I could have Heigl's pilot confused with another Las Vegas-centered pilot, but the two of them together would be enough to make it worth watching. But then we have Alicia Silverstone as Miss Match? Sorry, no.

Moving on, ABC and CBS are both messes. They look like drowning men casting about for anything to grab onto. ABC is definitely the mouse network, with its usual bland, family-friendly pablum, and that's fine... if you happen to be eight or mentally retarded. The more adult-aimed dramas are critically adored, but I've never warmed to them. I certainly lost interest in Alias when they made the hardcore spy daddy guy into a teddy bear who wuvved his widdle girl.

CBS swings towards the other demographic, into geezer shows, as well as Survivor and even more comedies for idiots. I'll pass.

Okay, I admit I used to enjoy the occasional Everybody Loves Raymond, but it's on reruns everywhere, and I haven't seen half of them anyway, so why bother going out of my way to see the Monday version?

Now, the WB might manage to be semi-interesting. Smallville has improved dramatically, Gilmore Girls is solid (though slipping somewhat), and I'll admit to occasionally watching Charmed with the sound off. (Rose McGowan? Growl.) I'm pondering watching switching from The West Wing to Angel, as I like what few episodes of it I've seen (which leads me to the conclusion that what really bugged me about Buffy was Sarah Michelle Gellar). But as far as sitcoms on the WB go, it's a wasteland. And UPN? Please.

Oh, and memo to net execs: Even if you think you're getting a deal, DO NOT sign multi-year renewals of shows that aren't created by David Chase. It's like signing Mariah Carey to a movie deal. You're going to get bit in the ass. Don' believe me? Remember ABC's deal with The Drew Carey Show two years ago? See?

Basically, if it weren't for Ed, Letterman and The Simpsons, I may very well have no use for network TV next year. Now take away my cable, particularly Comedy Central (with its Daily Show, South Park and Insomniac, among others), Animal Planet and HBO, and there'd be hell to pay. Now sounds like a good time to get that library card...