I'll get back to that, but first I'd like to explain why today is the first time in five days I've been able to move my head a full 180 degrees. On Thursday, I pulled a muscle in my left shoulder during my usual exercise routine. I say "usual," but only recently has that included a little weight training. I've been slowly working in some strength training along with my normal nightly stretching and jogging. But that day, I guess I was in a bit too much of a hurry, and I yanked something in my upper back. At the time, it didn't seem too troubling, I even managed to go for my run without much difficulty, but in the days since then things have debilitated to the point where I resembled Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein, only with slightly more groaning.
Naturally, none of the dozen or so massage therapists or chiropractors that have offices within the two or so blocks from my apartment were open on the weekend, so I just had to suffer through it. I spent a lot of time in awkward positions on the couch trying to get the heating pad in just the right spot without burning off my ear. I suppose, in other circumstances, it might be nice to take a break from my usual daily routines, but mostly I just wished I had somebody else around to rub my back. I tried rubbing it myself but I only managed to make it look like I was doing the old "making-out-with-myself" gag.
Speaking of having someone else around, there are a few developments on the Quest for Companionship '03. On Saturday, I got a surprise phone call from a girl I'd gone on a few dates with previously, and she wanted us to go to a Beavers baseball game. In spite of my back pain, I agreed to go. First, it sounded like fun, but more than anything I was sick of staring at my walls. Maybe getting outside and a few ballpark beers would loosen me up.
I was about half right. The beers and change of scenery did do me some good, but the hard plastic seats were starting to make my back feel like it had been repeatedly forked to test my cooking temperature. Strangely, though, she seemed more eager than I to call it a night. She'd been at practice (softball or baseball, I can't recall) all day, and was starting to fade. Or so it seemed. I doubt my hunchback imitation was giving off the most romantic vibe.
To be honest, though, I have been getting mixed signals on that front. I just can't tell whether she's genuinely disinterested in that sort of relationship or just not the type to express it. I always have trouble interpreting those sort of signals (and show me a guy who doesn't and I'll show you an egotistical bastard) unless they're blatantly obvious. On one ambiguous date last year, I seemed to be having what seemed like a perfectly platonic dinner until she excused herself to go the bathroom. We had been sitting opposite one another during the meal, but when she returned, she plopped down right next to me. It seemed obvious right then and there that she had expectations for where things were going. Unfortunately, it's not always that apparent, and of course neither party wants to risk the embarrassment of actually, you know, communicating about intentions up front. To paraphrase Billy Wilder, "If I don't say anything, then I can always tell people you fucked it up."
Anyway, I'm not in any hurry. My life seems so chaotic that adding another complication right now would just be stupid. Not that this stops me from trying...
You see, I went ahead and e-mailed that über-girl on Match that I'd been fixated on. Even though I think I overwrote my letter, making the end result somewhat saccharine, she still responded and we've been exchanging friendly e-mails since then. I don't know if it'll go any further, but since I didn't even expect her to reply at all, everything else seems like a bonus.
Those were the only bright spots in an otherwise fairly miserable weekend. I found out too late that I'd missed my friend's baby shower party because the organizer never got me my invite. And Friday was another one of those "reset days," where I try to shift my hopelessly muddled internal clock by staying up for 24 hours or more. I was more successful this time than others, making it all the way to 4 or 5 PM (I forget). I only meant to take a short nap then, as I had to go take a friend's dog for a walk. Instead, I slept right through my alarm and woke up at 9. (The dog didn't seem to notice; I still felt like a jerk though.) And ever since that supposed "reset" I've been sleeping four hours a night, only to then be wide awake, at least until I collapse in mid-evening. Tonight, I was only supposed to take a short nap (again), but I managed to sleep through the alarm (again), and miss my night class. Meaning that I just slept away 1/6th of my tuition.
Although I'm not thrilled about the financial loss, I've been hitting critical mass on those classes anyway. Without the chance to use the knowledge on a regular basis, most of the information doesn't even make it past my auditory canal. At least I feel marginally competent in the Photoshop class. There you're essentially working with pre-existing elements. All that my Illustrator class has taught me, though, is that I lack anything resembling design instincts. Hell, I can barely match my clothes without sweating.
The instructor's not helping matters, honestly. She seems content to photocopy exercises from a book, all of which is well and good, but I don't have the book, and with all the procedures laid out there for you, the lack of problem solving means that retention is practically zero. She hands out evaluation pages at the end of every class, and each time I suggest letting us work things out for ourselves more, but I guess it clashes with her teaching style. So instead of paying attention like I should be, since it is my money paying for this, I wind up feeling like I'm back in high school, just putting in my time.
It doesn't help matters that I don't have either program on my home computer, and I have neither the financial resources to afford them nor the computing power to run them even if I could.
As it stands, the original point of the class is basically scuttled anyway. I could have just as easily bought the books and, um, borrowed the software, but I needed a new social outlet. Unfortunately, in these advanced classes, the number of students is significantly diminished, and almost entirely populated by married women. There was one girl who joined the advanced class but was not in the beginning section that I swore couldn't have been older than 16, until I overheard her talking to her neighbor about her fiancé. Kids today...
Still, so I missed a class... so what? It's not like I didn't need the sleep, especially after the rubdown. This morning (after awaking early, natch) I called around to all the different massage offices in the area to price sessions and finally settled on the one that happens to literally be right outside my window. She was the only one who offered half hour sessions, and happily, had an opening today. The treatment proved to be just what I needed, even though my back was basically on the way to mending itself anyway. She even did an excellent job of making me feel relaxed. I am always uneasy getting massages from strange women, though nothing could top my discomfort that one time I injured myself and no one else was open but this short, hairy male masseuse.
But this woman did the trick and now I have full range of movement again. The only downside to this is that now I have no legitimate reason to beg women to give me backrubs.
Then again, who needs a reason for that?
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